Entertainment Today and Beyond

Never Met a Zombi I Didn’t Like…

HALLOWEEN 2 (2009) Review

Halloween 2-5Just so there is no misunderstanding I hated pretty much all of Rob Zombie’s Halloween 2. While I ultimately disliked Zombies first re-imagining of John Carpenter’s original 1978 classic I thought it had a few interest scenes and was semi-watchable. As far as this sequel is concerned, it has absolutely no redeeming value and is a movie I will never watch again.

Zombie has either no skill or no interest in building tension or suspense as the whole movie is an extreme exercise in blunt force trauma. It wallows in unpleasantness for its entire running time, reinventing the characters of this long running horror franchise to absurd and ridiculous caricatures. After watching this senseless garbage there’s no defending Zombie. If he wants to do his own thing in movies like his House of a 1000 Corpses or The Devils Rejects fine, but stay away, far away, from existing franchise properties like Halloween.

Haddonfield for me is not a small town filled with redneck hillbillies and strippers, Michael Myers is not a giant hobo, Dr Loomis (Malcolm McDowell) is not an unlikable opportunist, and Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton) is not an uncharismatic personality that adds little to nothing to the overall story. It’s also hard to excuse the ridiculous plot device that returns Zombie’s real life wife Sherri Moon to this follow up as a ghost who talks to her son Michael throughout the movie. You also lose all credibility as a horror director when you employ a shameless extended dream sequence. I especially despised when and where he used it.

As for the plot, there isn’t much of one other than Michael Myers is still alive and on his way back to Haddonfield one year after the events of the first film transpired. Dr Loomis has now sold out by becoming a celebrity writer promoting a new book dealing with his observations and history with Michael. As for Laurie she’s now living with Sheriff Brackett (Brad Dourif) and his daughter Annie (Danielle Harris) and is troubled by very bad dreams. She’s also unhappy and rebellious. I’m must say that Scout Taylor-Compton who plays Laurie is a dreadful actress with zero charisma and no screen presence whatsoever. She’s certainly no Jamie Lee Curtis.

Other than that, it’s just a total blood bath with Myers brutally killing people, and I mean brutally. It’s one thing to stab someone two or three times but  fifteen is overkill – so to speak. He also eats a dog in the movie which is pretty pathetic. Zombie’s choice to flesh out Michael’s background has been a detrimental mistake as there’s no mystery to the character. He’s just a straightforward serial killer and an uninteresting one at that.

You also know what you’re in for when you enter Zombie’s twisted world when he has a character taking about having sex with a dead body. Please stand up if you can relate to this.

Overall this is just an exercise in sadism from the mind of a sick individual who somehow was handed the keys to a long running horror franchise that he has now burned to the ground. Give me Rick Rosenthal’s 1981 Halloween 2 any day of the week.

ZERO zombies out of FIVE

August 30, 2009 Posted by | Reviews | Leave a Comment

THE BLOB to be REMADE under the direction of Rob Zombie

The_Blob_posterWhile I’m not surprised that another remake of the classic 1958 B-movie The Blob will happen (I’ve heard rumblings over the last few years), I was surprised when I found out that the project has gone to Rob Zombie. While I have no problem with Zombie doing his own thing with films like The Devils Rejects (while nasty it was a compelling watch) he would be the last guy I would go to when putting a different spin on a named property. For my money the guy is just too hardcore for this and the Halloween franchise. Although he has his supporters, I’m not one of them. I’m not saying he can’t do interesting horror, I just don’t want him to put his stamp on already existing properties as it’s obvious he has no respect for the source material.

According to “Variety”, Zombie says he’s come up with a bit of a different take than a big red blob, as it truly wouldn’t scare audiences in the least at this point in time. “I’d been looking to break out of the horror genre, and this really is a science fiction movie about a thing from outer space,” Zombie said. “I intend to make it scary, and the great thing is I have the freedom once again to take it in any crazy direction I want to”. That quote is precisely why I have a problem with Zombie. If you want to go off in crazy directions as he has done with the Halloween franchise, fine. Just don’t call it Halloween and defecate on Carpenter’s original. I’m assuming his Blob will be nothing like the terrific 1958 version (which was originally to be titled The Molten Meteor and filmed in and around Valley Forge PA) or the very solid 1988 remake (well directed by Chuck Russell) which added a few really cool twists to the The Blob 2story, including killing off the character Steve McQueen played in the films first 40 minutes, thus making Kevin Dillon the hero. Even though the 1988 version opened to terrific reviews (some critics compared it to Aliens) it crashed and burned pretty quickly grossing just $2,644,920 in its opening weekend and an anemic $8,247,943 in its entire theatrical run. In some ways it feels like the film doesn’t exist as it doesn’t get much play on television.

As for the 1958 version, it still makes for a nifty watch as it captures the feel of a small town perfectly and features a compelling Steve McQueen in his first starring role. You could argue that its story about an ever growing giant jelly-like life form that absorbs people while destroying the town is dated, but in the hands of another director I would be excited.

According to the trade, funding is in place to make this an R-rated $30 million film. Zombie will complete the script while he’s on tour with his new album this fall. Production is expected to begin in spring 2010. In this case I say BEWARE of Rob Zombie!

August 30, 2009 Posted by | And Beyond - Trailers & News | , | Leave a Comment

   

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