Entertainment Today and Beyond

Never Met a Zombi I Didn’t Like…

JENNIFER’S BODY Review

jennifersbody-finalposter-fJennifer’s Body is literally 100 minutes of mediocrity. It’s not scary enough to work as a horror movie and it’s not funny enough to be a comedy. Whatever digest is displayed on screen is a pointless exercise that’s of little interest in any way. Actually if this was not written by the Oscar winning screenwriter of Juno (a movie I really liked), Diablo Cody, I don’t think it would have been greenlit in the first place (way to paint by numbers) and I have no doubt this will vaporize from multiplexes very quickly.

Megan Fox stars as Jennifer, a narcissistic high school sexpot cheerleader. Her life takes a strange turn when she and her unlikely best friend, Needy (Amanda Seyfried wearing glassing and an unflattering hairstyle to downplay her good looks), go to a roadside bar and listen to a rock group named Low Shoulder. Before there’s any real chance for much character development to take place (all you know is that Jennifer is stuck up and boys still like her), the bar burns down and Jennifer goes along for a car ride with the group.

Jennifers-Body-1Little does she know that the band’s leader (Adam Brody) is a Satanist who mistakenly thinks Jennifer is a virgin and decides to sacrifice her to ensure his future prosperity. Before one can say “is she dead”? Jennifer turns up at Needy’s house, covered in blood, belching black goo. She is now literally turned into a man-eating demon with her male classmates soon to become an ample smorgasbord. That’s pretty much the extent of the story other than one final question – will Needy stop Jennifer before her boyfriend (Johnny Simmons) becomes dinner?

While Fox is certainly adequate in her role, there was never a time I didn’t think of her current celebrity status and what she has become in terms of a media magnet. To me she was always Megan Fox here and not really a character; although maybe that’s one and the same. Now there’s something that could hurt her movie future. As for Seyfried (Mamma Mia) as the nerdy and somewhat insecure Needy, she’s quite good (considering the underwritten script) and continues to prove that she should be a fixture in movies for a long time to come.

Personally I’m not a big fan of horror comedies as many more misfire than really work and Jennifer’s Body is no exception to that fact. The film just doesn’t know what it’s trying to achieve. While I admit there were a few inventive lines with Diablo’s quirky dialogue ( I enjoyed Fox’s delivery of the line where she tells a guy to Move On .org) there wasn’t enough, and there is absolutely no suspense or fright factor anywhere to be found. The only really disturbing sequence in this movie is a makeout scene between Fox and Seyfried that literally comes out of nowhere and makes no sense other than to titillate. This and so much of this movie just seemed juvenile and amateurish.

In a recent interview, Diablo Cody said she is a big fan of 80’s horror. If that’s the case why didn’t she and director Karyn Kusama (Girl Fight) just make a straight horror movie instead of this ill-conceived concoction. Not scary at all and just not funny enough, Jennifer’s Body is a major disappointment which left me unimpressed and bored. 1 ½ Zombies out of 5.

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September 21, 2009 - Posted by | Reviews | , , , ,

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